Archive for September, 2011

September 30, 2011

Friday 5 and some jealousy talk

Jealousy, the actual definition as confirmed by Dictionary.com is-jealous resentment against a rival, a person enjoying success or advantage, etc., or against another’s success or advantage itself.

I find myself having so many feelings of Jealousy even though I know that I should not be jealous. I see a picture of a friend who has recently lost weight, or someone that has just received a promotion at their current job and all I can think of is why have I not had these successes? I know that these feelings are someone trivial and there are so many friends and family that would disagree with my feelings and would pat me on the back for all that I have accomplished. But sometimes the Jealous monster likes to rear it’s ugly head. I am fairly certain I have written about jealousy in the past, if not on this blog on my weight watchers blog or facebook or some other form of communication to the outside world. The thing is that I feel it almost daily and and fight hard to not have these feelings internalized into a negative thought on myself. It is the battle that I am fighting and still continue to fight, it is me vs me over and over again. I am not sure who is winning, or if anyone is winning at this point. No one is winning since it is an unfair race of me against myself and neither of us is entirely prepared for how long and grueling this fight or race will take. Today I just wanted to write to write, write about my feelings and lets not focus on my weekly or daily goals. Yes I am succeeding in someways and I feel that considering all that has happened I am doing pretty darn good, but again when feelings like this arrive I have to address them some way. I am not looking for a pity party, I am not looking for some one to tell me how beautiful or perfect I am, I just want to be and be ok with that. But apparently I am not there yet. I am working towards it and accomplishing things like running goals, and food goals are helping. It is a fight worth fighting to beat the me vs me. It is like I am a third party that is trying to tone down the two of me that is fighting. (This is really starting to get weird) But in any case I just wanted to get it out there. But maybe now that I have said that I can look at today as a good day, I mean it is Friday after all right?

5 things I am currently happy about.
1. Meeting my Mom and Gramma Eileen for lunch tomorrow. Family time always makes me scream happy.
2. The weekend is almost upon us.
3. I just started watching Grey’s Anatomy from the beginning(yes I am super slow to get on that train)
4. Hershey Nuggets are only 1 WW point each! Major score for a chocolate fix!
5. Today was payday! Money Money Money!
Now lets move on from any bad feelings and have a good weekend shall we?

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September 28, 2011

Ravenous Wednesday!

Today I have been more than hungry. I don’t have any pictures since I lost my camera last week but we will have to just pretend.
7AM- Oatmeal with almond butter and a banana
7:30- Coffee with half and half and honey (yumsies!)
10am- Carrots with Hummus
10:30am- 12 almonds
12:00pm- Leftover Lentil, Kale Sausage skillet from last night.

Now that it is almost 2pm I am finally feeling like my stomach is not a bottomless pit.

In other news it is amazingly gorgeous in the SF bay area right now. I went for a walk on my lunch break and was so warm I wished I had shorts on. In celebration of this amazing weather the fiance and I are going to go out for a dinner date night. I am planning to go for a run right after work shower and then we will hit up one of our local spots with outdoor seating. I was the one who suggesting this outing, but right after I did I was almost regretful. Thinking that maybe it would affect my weight loss this week and I should wait until after my Weigh in at Weight Watchers this Thursday. Then I remembered that I can’t live life like that, and I wont deprive myself for things like that. This is why I am going to run right after work and make sensible decisions. I am in control of my health happiness and well being. Let the sunshine in and the running weather continue! Lets be glorious to ourselves today shall we?

September 26, 2011

Live life and love it

This is weird, trying to get back to reality and still remember the important lessons I learned the last few weeks. Lets start with the lessons that I feel are so important everyone should know and remember them, especially when times are tough or stress is at a level red.

1. Life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

I always seem to get upset and distracted easily by how “bad” my last meal was, or when I missed 1 workout this week but managed to make all of my other ones. I know that I am working daily on myself, inside and out. So I really need to work on not stressing that 1 meal.

2. Live every day like it is your last.

This is all too real after losing my brother last week. I am trying to use it as a positive thing to help me be more open to seeing people frequently as well as taking care of my body physically. This is a challenging one because I can tend to rely on staying at home in my “comfort zone” where I have all control of food that goes in my mouth. But if it was my last day I would spend as much time with family and friends as I could and just enjoy life. This is a balance I will have to work on.

Those are the two main ones that seem to  be sticking with me as I try to get back into my “normal” routine which is usually work, workout, eat, sleep during the week. I am spicing things up and seeing people more often if I can. Learning how to enjoy life and not go overboard is something that I have struggled with for a very long time. I am very black and white, good or bad, I am either cheating on my diet plan or I am being amazing and not doing 1 thing wrong. This is not a logical way to go through a life change. This is not a diet anymore this is a life change that I want to really work on. I am focusing on the fact that I am down from where I was weight wise at the beginning of the month, this is a start. With everything that happened I can not be too upset about gaining a bit back, or not hitting my goals 100% this month. A new month is coming and I know I can do better. I have to look at the big picture, I want to live life and love it.

September 20, 2011

Not sure what to say…

Last week was intense to say the least. I lost someone that I was pretty close with and it just wont be the same without him around in my life. I am trying to pick up my pieces and get back in the flow with life and my goals are still in the back of my mind for this month. I am just not sure that I am going to complete all the goals and I am ok with it. I know things will get better, I know that all my thoughts will calm eventually. Right now I just need a break from worrying about things like this. One thing this has really taught me is life is far too short to stress about the small stuff. I will be back with some more words when I can. Thank you all for your kind words and thoughts.

September 9, 2011

Back on the Wagon

Weight loss is such a funny thing, it doesn’t help that I am the type of person who thinks of everything as being in black or white. I am either being good or I am being bad. I am either doing everything in my power to try and lose weight or I am failing miserably and I want to die. (excuse the exaggeration)

 

This is something I have struggled with for a long time and even when I was at a lower weight than I am now I still wasn’t happy. I am not learning what it really means to me to feel good and comfortable about my body and really working on me from the inside out. Stopping myself when I start thinking negative is what I have been doing the most lately.

The Weekly Weigh in…Dun Dun DUn!

Last night was my weekly weigh in at Weight Watchers. I didn’t know what to expect and I try so hard not to put my emotions to a number on the scale but I do. The good thing is that when I weigh myself at weight watchers I have a supportive group of people to talk to after a bad or good day on the scale. Last night was a good night so I was willing to speak up some days that is not the case. But maybe those days are the days  I really should speak up…hmm I will have to look into it when that happens again.

September Weight loss-

Week 1- -2.6 (lost the weight I gained in August)

For now I am feeling super sore from body pump and I am ready for more. But tonight I will be cheering on the Giants at ATT park! Beat LA!!

September 8, 2011

September so far…Pumpkin anyone?

First off thank you to everyone who read my last post and commented, It makes me feel better to hear a response to things I bring up on here. To everyone else, I love you and thank you for reading in general 🙂

I figured since we are coming to an end of the first official week of September I would do a little recap of my goals and see how I am doing this week, I weigh in tonight and I will be back to update on the weight loss or gain? tomorrow. Here is a list of what my weekly/month goals are for September.

Read 1 new book– I started the Hunger Games and I am already more than half way through I am thinking I can finish the series this month.
workout 3-5 days a week (Start half marathon training and cross train!)– Last week I worked out like a beast! I did TWTF then Sunday. This week I did last night and I going tonight then for sure on Sunday possibly Saturday so 3 days no problem! Half marathon training starts on Monday and I have a buddy! Yay!! Tonight is body pump lets hope I love it and it will be my new cross trainnig plan.
try 1 new recipe a week-Last week we made a seafood risotto and last night we tried Vegan Mac and Cheese(we only had Vanilla Almond milk, it wasn’t bad but it was definitely Nilla Mac instead of regular.
lose 5 pounds– I will find out tonight how I am doing so far, it was a cleanse week so I have to take whatever comes with a grain of salt but I am back on track no matter what! Weight Watchers here I come Mother F-ER!

Blog more!– ummm I am pretty much doing it daily during the week, this is a yes for this week!
meal plan– Last week this didn’t happen so much since I started the cleanse, this week I am putting my shopping game face on, watch out Berkeley bowl!
work on me vs me– I have a book on this and plan to get started on it this weekend.
continue wedding planning– We are getting the save the dates in order and We are going to set up meetings with caterers….I need to sit down with Jay soon to finish the guest list.

All in all I am feeling really good about this week, It helps to see everything laid out in front of me and see where I am trying to go from here. Continue doing what I am doing and kick it up a notch.

On a side note I am sooo excited for Pumkin season, I seriously want to stuff my face with pumpkin pie and drink my body weight in pumpkin beer.


 

September 7, 2011

Your doing What?

I knew that doing a cleanse and talking about it publicly on Facebook and on this blog was going to get some sort of reaction from people. Many have applauded, while some have downright said why would you ever want to do that. Yes if you would have talked to me a few years ago I would have said the cleanse sounds crazy as well. I would have never done something like that in a million years, but I also would never have done anything like compete in a triathlon, or train for half marathons, let alone run for just plain old fun.

I am a different person now and my health means more to me than anything. Sure, looking good in a tight pair of jeans is up there on my list of why I am doing this, but I am also just wanting to feel good and healthy for as long as I can. It makes me so sad to see so many people around me have illnesses. My heart goes out to anyone I meet who is either battling cancer or even just trying to get their diabetes under control. Maybe I am not able to save myself from certain types of ailments that can stop you dead in your tracks and make your whole world turn upside down, but at least I feel like I am trying my best to fight right now. This really has an emotional toll on me as I am currently losing a loved one before my vary own eyes, and maybe nothing would be different if everyone just took care of themselves a little better…But what if it was?

I appreciate all of your comments and concerns and don’t worry I am still eating enough food and I am not working myself out to death while I am doing this. I honestly feel great and would do this again in the future.

Have you ever done a cleanse? Did people think you were crazy?

September 6, 2011

The Cleanse

I have been talking about doing a cleanse with my acupuncturist for a little while now. After my birthday of indulgences I decided to jump right in and go for it. She gave me a little list of stuff I can have and what to avoid.

  • “Week of whole foods and no inflammatory foods.
  • Avoid- Glugen, Eggs, Soy, Dairy, Corn
  • Eat- Tons of vegetables and drink lots of water, minimal chicken breast and fruit” Taken from Megan’s notes

I was also told to have 3 tablespoons of Ground flax in 1/2 cup water in the evening. So far I have only done that last night, lets just say it is not that tasty.

I started this cleanse on Saturday, I actually started saturday having eggs with vegetables but I was assured that we can just forget about that day 😉

Here is what I did this weekend and how hard this cleanse has been for me

Saturday- I basically did nothing, I focused on drinking water and went to the Sauna to sweat out some of the devil. I then freaked out on Jason during the evening for interrupting my Mad Men Marathon and for not paying attention to me- Cleanse 1- Aly-0

Sunday- We went shopping and whole foods for lunch, I made sure to load my salad with all the tasty things I am able to eat on the cleanse. Then we went to a friends house for dinner, luckily there was a vegan there so the emphasis was on vegetables already (Score!). Cleanse- 1  Aly- 1

Monday- Jason and I had a family BBQ and I brought my own Quinoa and Veggie mix from the night before as well as had some cucumber and fresh veggies from the garden! I focused on water and salad and ended the day feeling satisfied.(This was after I had a Banana and Almond milk smoothie 🙂

I am now on day 4 and I am having slight headaches occasionally but nothing that bad. I feel a little spacey but really not that bad. I have still been able to do yoga and run this week and I plan to continue to do that but get more grains in to handle that. I will be back with a full cleanse recap after the week long cleanse is over. During the cleanse I am not tracking my points on Weight Watchers, I am just focusing on eating small amounts of things a little  bit at a time.  Cheer for me because this is tough but well worth it!

September 1, 2011

September Goals

Wow my birthday month is already over?? haha that is a complete joke because I am so ready to get back on track. I pretty much took all of August off as far as Blogging, Meal Planning, workouts, and weight loss is concerned. But Hey, That is what Birthday’s are for right? I was also coming off of a year hiatus of training for triathlons back to back, so I am going to call it a pass. So without further adu here is my September Goals.

  • Read 1 new book
  • workout 3-5 days a week (Start half marathon training and cross train!)
  • try 1 new recipe a week
  • lose 5 pounds
  • Blog more!
  • meal plan
  • work on me vs me
  • continue wedding planning

This list is somewhat extensive but I am ready to tackle it, I already started a new book (the hunger games yay!) and I met with a personal trainer last night. I have weight watchers tonight and that will be my new starting weight for the month. I am even going to try a new recipe this week already planned-These Blueberry Pie Pancakes Yumzilla!! I blogged yesterday and today and I am going to charge my camera so I can get some pics up for you peeps! Me Vs Me….well that is an uphill ongoing battle but my acupuncturist is helping me with it and I am going to read some self help books to guide me along. So far I am feeling good about September! Onward and downward peeps!

What are your goals? (should I stop putting questions up since no one comments on my blog? haha)

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